I've always wanted to lose weight, not gain, but for some reason I turned 180 degrees after moving in with my mother. She always tells me to eat more, saying I'm too skinny, and I've always thought that she was out of her mind for saying something like that. Cause I'm not skinny (I'm 49kg now after weight gain). But now after gaining a few kg and cm, I feel so much better, like.. for the first time in my life I feel kinda sexy and feminine? I've always thought that since I'm not that tall (I'm 156cm, or 5ft1), I would have to be small and skinny with the thighgap and everything to be feminine, but now I feel like more weight looks better on me.
I still want to stay at a healthy bmi, and I want to train a lot so I can make sure that I don't get a lot of fat around my waist (cause that's not healthy either), but rather gaining muscle in my lower body (I really want to gain some strength as well). My body seems to store the fat mainly in my lower body regardless though, but I don't want my fat% to get too high. I'm not sure how far I want to go yet, but I'm thinking that I could start with 3-5kg and see how I feel.
The problem is that I'm scared. I've never wanted this before, and I'm scared I'll regret it if I gain more. I'm also scared of what people around me would think. I know my boyfriend likes the way I am now, and he says that he wouldn't want my body to change, but he thinks I want to lose weight. I'm not too worried though, just don't want him to feel like I've degraded myself.
I'm also scared of losing controll.. What if I can't stop myself from gaining? Or what if I wouldn't want to stop myself, what if I suddenly felt like I never could get big enough?
I just don't know if it's a good idea, but I just want it so badly. I want wider hips, I want to be stronger, and I really wouldn't mind a bit more fat all over tbh.
Is it worth it? Or should I just let my body stay the same?
I still want to stay at a healthy bmi, and I want to train a lot so I can make sure that I don't get a lot of fat around my waist (cause that's not healthy either), but rather gaining muscle in my lower body (I really want to gain some strength as well). My body seems to store the fat mainly in my lower body regardless though, but I don't want my fat% to get too high. I'm not sure how far I want to go yet, but I'm thinking that I could start with 3-5kg and see how I feel.
The problem is that I'm scared. I've never wanted this before, and I'm scared I'll regret it if I gain more. I'm also scared of what people around me would think. I know my boyfriend likes the way I am now, and he says that he wouldn't want my body to change, but he thinks I want to lose weight. I'm not too worried though, just don't want him to feel like I've degraded myself.
I'm also scared of losing controll.. What if I can't stop myself from gaining? Or what if I wouldn't want to stop myself, what if I suddenly felt like I never could get big enough?
I just don't know if it's a good idea, but I just want it so badly. I want wider hips, I want to be stronger, and I really wouldn't mind a bit more fat all over tbh.
Is it worth it? Or should I just let my body stay the same?
by zumzumi via Bodybuilding.com Forums - Female Bodybuilding
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