Advice for a total newbie?

So, I'm 24, 5'6", and over 200lbs, and I'd like to drop around 60lbs of weight, tone up, gain strength, and thicken my thighs/hips/ass and maybe my biceps just a bit. However, there's no way in hell I could ever afford any real equipment or a trainer and I just can't do a gym, so I'm stuck with doing bodyweight stuff at home. I'll be honest, I can do maybe 3 good pushups and haven't managed a full pullup yet. What's some advice on how to achieve my goals? Anything specific about exercises, sets and reps, diets, supplements, or anything really that can help?

Sorry I'm not terribly specific or well-versed in anything, like I said, total newbie

by ArtemisRose via Bodybuilding.com Forums - Female Bodybuilding