Ok, I don't really think that I belong here, but I assure you that I am not a troll of any sort. I could NEVER in my wildest dreams picture myself as anything even remotely considered as a "bodybuilder". I mean, I could share some embarrassing (and at times painful) experiences I have had involving weights or weight lifting equipment...like the time I broke one finger and damaged 2 others with a 45 pound weight in the high school gym :( Or the time that I got challenged to lift something and I couldn't budge the bar...with it EMPTY!!
I am here seeking guidance. I am VERY petite, like 5 feet tall and under 90 pounds. I do not have an eating disorder, I actually like food a lot. However, I can not gain weight. I have been to my doctor about it, and they don't really find a reason why this is. I've even had to keep a food diary for them, but still no success. Being my size, and living in the US, has made my life a bit of a living h**l!! I'm sorry for using that word, but there is no other word for it. I am stuck in kids clothes, stores do not carry my size of lingerie (and I DO understand why...it's upsetting to me to think that I am only a couple of sizes larger in clothes than my almost 7 yr. old niece...so yeah, I understand the WHY). However, I am officially fed up with being this size...with basically having to wear a training bra...with having my husband show me an article of clothing, etc online and him say "I want to see you in this" only for me to have to respond with, "That won't fit me, I'm too small for its smallest size". The effect this has had on my self esteem is atrocious. I literally despise my body. I am tired of hearing people in public tell me, "I'm sorry you lost your breasts to breast cancer" when I wear a shirt pertaining to breast cancer to support my husband's mom who DID loose hers. I'm tired of hearing my husband's friends (and even some family members) comment about how I'm built...or making comments like, "what did you ever see in her". One of his brother's got very drunk and outright told my husband (in front of me) "what the h*** did you see in her, she doesn't have any of the right curves in any of the right places. Man, she's a walking plank of wood." He didn't shut up, he made a very, very snide and rude comment about my chest and then he got hit in the head with a flying high heeled shoe! The things he said, triggered flashbacks to comments I heard from one of my "parents" growing up...comments of "her boobs are the size of two fried eggs", "her butt isn't any bigger than two popcorn kernels", "her arms and legs look like pretzel sticks", "she's never going to find a man who wants her with the way she's built" and this guardian enjoyed saying these things in front of their friends and any potential boyfriend that I introduced them to. So, when similar things began being said by a BIL, all of the hurt, anger, and humiliation came out in the form of a flying high heel.
I am now 40, and my two children are now officially adults. After 20 years of marriage, I'm not seeing where my husband still finds me...how shall I say..."sexy". Due to hurricane Michael that hit us and wrecked our property in October, I am not in a financial position to be able to invest in much to help me in the areas I need help in. I can't afford protein powders, weight gainers, and the like. I can not afford exercise equipment aside from what I can find our make from things around my house. The truth is that my financial situation is at the point where I can pretty much pay the monthly bills and still be able to barely put food on the table every day. So, I am here. I need, desperately need, advice on how I can gain weight, strengthen my upper body, and build at least a bit of a chest :/ Can anyone help me?
by Flhomeschoolmom via Bodybuilding.com Forums - Female Bodybuilding